Oh…adulting. Sometimes it truly sucks. And sometimes, just sometimes, you think to yourself after a really hard decision, “Man, I’m a sheer IDIOT for not doing that sooner.”
In this case, I’m talking about the super adulty decision of cutting ties with someone who you used to consider a close friend.
This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make as a grown-up person. Which apparently I am now, since I’m married, in my thirties and have three kids. Who woulda thunk? But when I finally put on my big girl pants and did it, it was like this huge freaking weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
The clouds parted.
The sound of angels singing softly trickled down from the heavens.
Off in the distance a lovely rainbow appeared.
Okay, FINE. Not really.
But it sure as hell made my life a lot less cringe-worthy, and I felt like I could finally BREATHE. No more lies. No more pretending.
Look – people change. That’s the cold, hard truth. And sometimes people just plain aren’t who we thought they were in the first place. There is only so much garbage one person can put up with over the years and still be willing to call something a friendship.
If someone is causing you pain over and over and over again, and never seeming to care?
Yes, this may seem harsh. Especially if you’re invested in the friendship, and have some mutual friends. But if you honestly can think about your life and feel like it would be so much more uncomplicated and messy and stressful…do it.
Because looking out for yourself is NOT wrong. There’s a reason why they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first when the plane is going down.
You should NOT have to rip yourself into pieces to keep others whole. Self-care is important. YOU are important. And for me, when I finally came into my own as an adult and realized my value, I knew I needed to reassess certain friendships.
A true friend is someone who is happy for your happiness.
Who is sad for your sadness.
Someone who has your back.
Someone who you can turn to and know you won’t be judged. Criticized. Looked down upon.
THOSE are the keepers. Find the friends like that in your life and hang on like hell. Because none of us are getting any younger, and having a true friend or two standing by your side on this crazy ride called life really makes it a whole lot sweeter.